The Truth About Soulmates
I Just got back from hosting our 4th Virtual XO Marriage Conference with my wife, and God really opened my eyes about something we all think we understand: soulmates. You know how we all grew up believing our soulmate was that one special person destined to complete us? Turns out, we might have been looking at it all wrong.
One of the speakers shared about where this idea actually came from. According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs, and a head with two faces. Zeus, fearing their power, split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives searching for their other halves. Notice something? This concept isn't rooted in faith at all – it's just an ancient philosophical theory that's somehow shaped our modern view of love.
Growing up watching rom-coms and listening to love songs, I totally bought into this idea. I believed God had created that one perfect person just for me, and I needed to keep my eyes peeled for when our paths would cross. Sure, I knew I needed to align with God's will in marriage, but I was missing something deeper.
Here's what I've learned: when we believe in the modern concept of soulmates, we're essentially saying another person can make us whole. But truthfully, Only God can complete us. That's where real joy comes from – when we put His ways first. Think about it: how fair is it to put that kind of pressure on another human being? They're just as flawed and complex as we are.
The beautiful truth is that 'soulmates' aren't found – they're built. Your significant other becomes your soulmate because you've chosen to grow old together, to face life's challenges side by side. God's ultimate goal isn't just about making us happy in marriage – it's about helping both people grow and transform together. After a while, you start to mirror each other, and your complexities merge into one.
The problem is, many of us mistake emotional feelings for love, and When those initial butterflies fade (and they will), we think something's wrong. we file for divorce because we don't feel the same way we did on our wedding day. But true love is like wine – it gets sweeter with age. It deepens. It matures. You know what's funny? The older I get, the more I realize that love is like wine (stay with me here). It's not about that initial pop and fizz – it's about the depth and richness that comes with age. The best relationships I've seen aren't the ones that started with fireworks, but the ones that grew stronger through consistency, endurance, and time.
This is where love becomes a decision. When trials and temptations threaten our relationships, when we're questioning our compatibility, that's when real love is tested. That's when we discover what we're made of. And that's when faith becomes our anchor.
Our relationships shouldn't be based on fleeting emotions alone. It needs a stronger foundation. When we build on solid ground and trust in God's timing, even relationships that seem at the brink of death can be revived and emerge stronger than ever. I've seen it happen in my own life.
Think about it: if we believe there's only one perfect person out there for us, what happens if:
They choose someone else?
Something happens to them?
The initial sparkly feelings fade?
You realize they're just as human and flawed as you are?
Remember: God gave us free will and choices to make. we might feel strongly about someone, but they still have the choice to choose you back. And if they don't, That's okay. God isn't limited in His resources – He always provides another way forward, just like He always has throughout history.
The goal isn't to find that mythical perfect match – it's to grow together with someone who shares your faith and values. When the time is right, God will bring your person into your life. And then the real work – and the real joy – begins.
Here's the thing I’ve learned this Valentine’s weekend after 25 years of marriage: this whole soulmate concept is actually pretty problematic. It sets us up for failure by creating impossible expectations. Real 'soulmates' are built with consistency, endurance, and time. Not with fairy tales and perfect moments, but with conscious choices, committed love, and faith in something bigger than us. And at the end of the day, real love isn't about finding your missing half – it's about two whole people choosing to build a life together. It's about choosing to love, even when the feelings aren't there. It's about creating our own kind of soulmate connection, one day at a time.
So maybe it's time we retire the soulmate myth and embrace something more real: the idea that lasting love is less about destiny and more about choice, commitment, and growth. Because that's where the real magic happens.
If we're not on the same page, then we can’t continue with our story.
