Keep on Pushin'
Today's inspiration comes from Mark 5:21-43. I'm 13 days into a 40 day journey to tweak my faith, sacrifice my pride, and redevelop my heart's posture. I'm not gonna lie, it's challenging. You would think that over time it would get easier, but nah 😔. What has happened though, is I've become more desperate. I've never realized how much desperation could change you. Good or bad. The difference between "good" and "bad" desperation can be found in the outcome and the means used to achieve it. Good desperation can be the reason for positive change and action, while bad desperation can lead to impulsive, harmful, or dishonest choices. People can also manipulate desperation.
Some of my most hurtful experiences were fueled by my desperation but cloaked with buzzwords like "faith", "sacrifice" and my all time favorite "obedience". Everyone's desperate for something. The desperate dad, the chronically ill woman—they represent different situations, different problems, but the same human desperation. I think we're all trying to heal in some form.
In my experience like this story, I've learned that the system doesn't always work. The woman spent all her money on doctors who couldn't help. Jairus was a religious leader whose position couldn't save his daughter. Sometimes the institutions and people we rely on fail us, but unwavering desperation (faith) can get results. Both characters did something socially awkward and rare in today's climate—the leader humbled himself publicly, and the woman touched someone when she was "unclean" and broke the protocol of hierarchy. They stepped outside comfort zones because they needed change that badly. Which is kind of where I am now in my life.
Interruptions aren't accidents. Faith looks different for everyone. The woman's faith was desperate and dirty. Jairus had to keep believing even after hearing his daughter was dead. Life has shown me that there's no one-size-fits-all approach.
Life can feel like being in that crowd—everyone pushing, everyone needing something. And the help I need isn't about shoving my way to the front, it's about reaching out with whatever faith I can muster up!
Maybe that's the point. Whether I'm considered the established leader or the social outcast, maybe my problem is acute or chronic, whether my approach is with confidence or fear—the invitation is the same: reach out and press through.
After living this long bruh, I've come to the realization that the worst thing Jesus could say to me is no. And the best? Well, that just might change everything.
